Control Freak

I am a complete control freak. 

I plan my life down to a T and panic when it goes haywire. You know, like when someone cancels on me or I get delayed somewhere because I took the wrong train/ got lost somewhere HAHAHHA. 

For the past two days, I've been wanting to take control of a situation and control that person's emotions. This would involve making impulsive decisions and lots of crying and disappointments and everything negative that you can think of. And probably minus 200 quid from my bank account. And a tight slap. 

But I know that I cannot control another person's emotions. I know that there are things that are beyond my control. I made a constant effort to shove away the ridiculous plan I had in my head and ended up in a perpetual state of sianness


I was stalking my girl crush, Aida, and saw this- 

Thought: The best way to reach someone’s heart, is to place them in your Du’as and to convey the very message that you intended for them to Allah. Not to them directly, but to the Owner of Hearts Himself. Only Allah can soften one’s heart, only Allah can open one’s heart, and only Allah can ease one’s heart. So if you’ve been trying really really hard to tell someone something, but it isn’t coming through to the other party, stop. You are doing it wrong. Turn back to Him and bare your heart out to Him and tell Him everything. And then let go, and let God. Khair, In Sha Allah.
— Aida Azlin

Or this perpetual state of sianness is because of PMS. HA HA HA HA