Today, I said goodbye to one of the kindest and selfless people I've ever known. We've known each other for a short period of time but it feels like I've known S for a lifetime. I think we both knew from the beginning that our close friendship had an expiry date. I don't know about S, but I've been prepping myself for this day. You see, I'm a planner and I absolutely loathe failing so I had to do everything within my power to cushion the impact. But alas, things are always harder in reality.
I go from zero to hundred in a split second and invest emotions without any reservations so when it's time to say goodbye, I die a little inside. The good thing about this whole saga is that I'm aware that there's a natural conclusion and so, I managed to treasure every single moment that we had together- even the ones where we annoyed one another. Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost. We have enough memories to last a lifetime.
This has been a very humbling month- a stark reminder that everything is orchestrated by Him and that we plan and plan but He is still the best of planners. When it is time to let go, trust and remember that the wound is the place where Light enters and that what is meant for me will never miss me.
This feeling sucks and I might need to learn how to breathe again. Or eat a slice of cake or 10. Or go for more yoga classes.
Keeping you in my prayers because that's all I can do for now. Being brave sometimes is impractical but please at least be happy and healthy.